The most annoying thing that someone has ever told me was that “You’re choosing to stay in this shitty place”. As annoying as it was to hear at the time, something clicked. She was right I was choosing to stay in a shitty place. We always have the choice to either choose a better thought or do something to break the downward spiral. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been severely depressed and I know how hard it is to pull yourself to do something or anything at that moment, to pick a better thought when you feel like your mind is just in constant circles of thoughts that are pulling you down and when you literally feel like you’re at rock bottom. To be completely honest at this moment right now I can tell you that I feel as if I’ve hit rock bottom. These past few months have held an extreme amount of contrast for me. Even when I think I’m getting back on my feet something else hits whether this being a fight with my girlfriend, work-related things or as little as spilled coffee. I’m going to share with you a great example:
Today I woke up already feeling off from fighting with my girlfriend the night before. I had plans to go and print off posters today, which required me to walk downtown in the rain. I get downtown about thirty minutes later to find out the image centre was actually closed. That one thing completely turned my mood to being super defeated and irritated. I got home and crawled back into bed. I was almost positive I was going to stay there for the rest of the day until I thought about that annoying thing that someone once told me. If I was going to stay in bed all day than I had to accept that I AM choosing to stay in this mood and I AM choosing to let this day end like this. Now, I know how easy it is to think to yourself “yeah whatever, I’m choosing to stay here”, especially if you’re as stubborn as I am. Today I chose to drag my ass upstairs to bake some cookies, blast country music and sit here and write this to you, because those are all things that I know I enjoy doing. If you choose to do something you truly enjoy doing than your vibration and mood will go up. I chose to feed my soul with something it was craving, and that was joy. Joy that I haven’t been feeling lately and I can honestly say that’s because I didn’t try looking for it. I got caught up in the downward spiral because negative energy can be so much stronger than positive.
So, if you’re reading this and you’re caught in the downward spiral I want you to know that I got you. I want you to make the choice with me right now to choose to break the momentum of the downward spiral and to choose joy. Choose to call a friend, dance naked around your room, bake cookies, play in the garden, blast music and sing on the top of your lungs or anything else your soul needs right now to feel joy. If you feel like you need a self-pity day and choose to stay in this mood, that’s okay too, but just know that you’re making that choice. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to stay, as long as you do choose to come out of it. There’s so much clarity waiting for you on the other side, you just have to be in alignment to accept it.
Lastly, if you’re reading this and you’re in a great mood and you just so happen to come across this article, I want you to keep this annoying statement with you when you need it, “ You’re choosing to stay in this shitty place”.